Legendary Snow by the Editor

In an isolated part of Northern Alabama, where the mosquitos run wild, there were three children whose names were Joe, Greg, and Mary. On a cold winter morning, Mary awoke from her slumber and spotted something outside her window that made her shake with fear. She frightfully shouted for her older bros, “Joe! Greg! Come quick!” Joe and Greg dashed into her room and exclaimed, “What is it! What’s the problem!?” She replied, “Tiny pieces of cloud are falling from the sky!” The two brothers leapt to the window and announced, “Your right! The clouds are falling from the sky!” Joe put his thoughts into words conveying, “I’ll call my friend Chet Moring. He knows everything!” Joe ran to the phone and ask the operator for Chet Moring. Chet answered the phone exclaiming, “Yo Joe! Have you seen what’s happening out there!?” Joe responded, “I have! My sister says that the clouds are falling from the sky.” Chet inquired, “You believe that clouds are falling from the sky? That’s impossible. What’s really happening is another Ice Age.” Joe replied, “Really?” Chet declared, “Oh yes, it is! It’s snowing out there! Frozen water is falling from the sky. The temperatures been dropping for weeks ever since summer ended 5 months ago. It’s 25 degrees out there.” Joe declared, “Gasp! You’re right! I’ll spread the word.” Joe hung up and sped back to Greg and Mary.

When Joe returned to his brother and sister, he exclaimed, “The clouds are not falling from the sky. It’s tiny pieces of frozen water called snow. It’s another Ice Age!” Greg replied, “Whoa! I thought it was just a movie title.” Joe responded, “No. It’s so much more. Now let’s suit up so we can go check things out.” Now imagine an epic musical montage where our heroes are opening drawers and closets putting on all the winter clothes they can find. After the epic hunt was over, they ran to the front door where they found their mother organizing her shoe collection. She examined them, smiled, and inquired, “You kids heading outside? Here, don’t forget your hats.” The children’s mother put on their hats which were about an inch thick and sent them on their way to face the frozen water of the outside.

The children walked out the front door and saw a frozen wonderland. Mary exclaimed, “Look! There’s a statue over there.” Greg added, “That’s not a statue. That’s old man Kurt’s cat! Frozen solid.” Joe whispered, “Let’s go check it out.” But before Joe could take another step, a snowball was flung at his chest and he fell to his knees. Joe painfully announced, “What was that?” Mary replied, “It looked like a ball of snow. A snowball!” A voice from a nearby hill exclaimed, “Take that Joe! Ha Ha Ha Ha!” Mary screamed, “It’s the O’Harold brothers! Run!” The three siblings ran towards Grandpa’s shed as snowballs rained down on them. When they got to the shed, Greg rallied his brother and sister declaring, “This battle, which these foes of ours have brought about is not lost! Join me and we will drive them back to where they came from!” Joe and Mary yelled, “Oh yeah! Righteous!” The 3 siblings then whet about constructing their fortress. First, they erected a 20-foot wall of snow around Grandpa’s shed and loaded Grandma’s unusual collection of catapults and trebuchets full of snow and fired at the hilltop. There were many huge Hollywood explosions and pieces of hilltop and old cabin flew everywhere. When the battle was over, the O’Harold Brothers were sent back to where they came from. Then the children’s mother came outside and beheld the battlefield and inquired, “What happened out here?” Mary replied, “The O’Harold brothers started flinging snowballs at us when we were looking at old man Kurt’s frozen cat which caused us to erect a 20-foot wall of snow and load Grandma’s old toys full of snow and wreak havoc on that tiny hill which is no longer in existence!” The mother responded, “Well I declare! Oh well. It’s time for lunch. Come on kids. let’s eat.” This day would become legendary as the day a tiny hill was obliterated by 3 children using frozen water and the day the O’Harold brothers were driven from Joe, Greg, and Mary’s land forever. The End.