Upright Happiness by Robot Guy

One cloudy day a turtle, who was quite happy because it was a Monday, sat by his favorite pond in north Mississippi. As the turtle was getting ready to slip into the pond for his morning dip the wind picked up and all around him sirens started blaring. The turtle watched as a tornado started to form. A few minutes later the tornado had picked up a dilapidated trailer home and as it was being sucked up a man in overalls jumped out and leapt into the pond where the turtle was sitting. The tornado headed toward the pond and violently pulled all its contents high into the sky leaving behind a muddy hole.

After the trilling flight the turtle landed upside-down on a soft patch of grass and the man landed in a nearby tree. The man in overalls, whose name was Bill, looked around and noted that he was in somebody’s front yard. An old man with a long beard ran out of the house started yelling “The end times are a comin! I can tell because there is a man in the tree and an upside-down turtle next to him!” Bill quickly recognized the old man and told him “Grandpa quit yellin’ about the end times and get me out of this tree!” to which Grandpa replied” Okay I’ll go find your uncle he’ll know what to do. But I still believe the end times are comin’” A few minutes later Bill’s uncle and his uncle’s 5-year-old son came around the house carrying a ladder and Bill was soon out of the tree. While Bill was talking to his uncle and grandpa about his ride to the house, the 5-year-old watched the turtle as he tried to flip himself.

After the turtle had been trying to flip himself over for a few minutes, the 5-year-old who had gotten bored of playing the “watch the turtle flip himself game” righted the turtle and went to go do something more interesting. The turtle, who was quite happy to be upright again, immediately began searching for a new pond to live in because the tornado had destroyed his old pond. As he was searching, he waddled by Grandpa’s doomsday bunker and saw the old man walk into the bunker with a wheelbarrow full of lard. The turtle dismissed this and continued his search for a new pond. Eventually he discovered a beautiful pond and lived out the rest of his days in upright happiness. The End.